What am I talking about? Allow me to explain.
At the end of last week, I announced the official release date for Chef. Doing so brought me a series of sensations that are both very exciting and extremely stressful. On the one hand, this is something I've been wanting in my life since at least the second grade, if not before, and on the other...well, I won't get into that.
But my imagination has been running wild, coming up with ways I could die between now and then. Some have been really impressive, like in the aftermath of a midair collision over the Salt Lake Airport as a piece of flaming airplane shrapnel falls from the sky and impales me. Others have been as dull as simply being hit by a bus on my way to get coffee. Either way, my mind seems bent on seeing I don't survive.
I wonder if that flock of birds are fans of Alfred Hitchcock's work.
And it's been haunting me ever since. Do I know it's stupid? Yes. Riciculous? As ridiculous as a cheeseburger using Krispy Kreme donuts as buns. It's like Santa Claus. You don't think it exists, but it TOTALLY exists.
Everyone wants to leave something behind, something their kids and grandkids will look at and say "Ah, so that's what he did with his life." The dude that cures cancer's grandkids are damned well going to KNOW who he is, and what he did. Me? Well, so far I've got Chef.
If I were to die tomorrow, after my apartment has been cleared out, It's going to be the only tangible proof that I lived, save for a headstone. Heh, with Chef actually published, my headstone should read "Here Lies Tony Jaeger. He Was a Dick to His Characters."
Maybe at a signing event to promote Chef I'll get a papercut with a spontaneous case of severe hemophilia and bleed out.
Eh. At least I'll have made it, if that last one were to happen. I'll have left my legacy. Six weeks until launch; I'll let you know if I made it.
*Edit* Maybe I won't let you know if I made it. I'll just let you assume I overdosed on caffeine and my heart exploded...but I'll keep putting out books. I'll be the Tupac of books!