Two Birds With One Stone
"Oh, come on, baby, just throw caution to the wind for once," Sammie pressed herself against Tom, just enough to give him a sense of what hid beneath her clothing and, he hoped, what she was offering him if he played along. Tom tried to slip his arms around her, but she danced away smiling crookedly back at him.
"I don't usually throw anything to the wind," Tom protested weakly. "It's dangerous."
"Well, you're just going to have to trust me, ya wuss ;)" Tom didn't know how she did it, but Sammie had just spoken in emoticons. It was just something she did. "I'll keep you safe. Now, get in the car and put on this blindfold. You promised me we could do aaanything I wanted today." Tom heaved a sigh and slipped into her bright yellow ford Taurus. It was no use fighting her on the matter. Eventually, she would get her way. Lord Zod sat quietly on the seat behind him, panting excitedly. T
A pair of moist lips pressed to his cheek. "Now, was that so hard? Buckle up and lay back, it's gonna be a long drive."
The engine started, and they were on their way. Off to destinations unknown. To barren wastelands and lush mountainscapes, perhaps, he didn't know. Or perhaps they were going to a place no man, woman, or dog had ever been. The Final Frontier. Tom leaned his seat back and tried to imagine what sex would be like in outer space. H
Outta this world, Tom thought.
Now, the narrator interrupted, you might be thinking that Tom's Power - because yes, he is over 21 years old, and has Manifested a Power - is the ability to make terrible jokes. It's not. He's just got one of those senses of humor that makes you cringe. You know the type. A
But no, they weren't going into outer space, they weren't even technically leaving the county, but Tom didn't know that. This journey, for him, was a metaphor, a microcosm of his relationship with Sammie. They were going together out into the Great Unknown, unaware of what is to come, and only somewhat unconcerned with what it would be, so long as they were together, he thought, they can handle whatever comes up. With her hand gently squeezing his thigh, and his manhood responding appropriately, he knew everything would be okay. She wanted him, and he most certainly wanted her, so together they could conquer all odds.
A half hour into the drive, and the goofy smile on his face hadn't faded. Tom held Sammie's hand in his now, and vowed never to let go. N
An hour had passed. Okay, it could have been twenty minutes or a year and a half, as far as Tom could tell. He was blindfolded, what the hell did he know? Well, I'll tell you. That's kind of my job. He knew they'd been on the freeway, taken two left turns - one of them a loop that had nearly made him sick - He knew that the road had become gravelly for a time, but was at that moment pavement.
Another hour passed. Again, it was an hour that could just as easily have been three days or three minutes. Lord Zod licked Tom's cheek and whined. Tom realized he'd fallen asleep, and that the car was no longer in motion. He reached left and found only the still-warm seat Sammie had been sitting in. K
Silence answered him in the darkness. _
"Where are you?"
Even Lord Zod had quieted. The faint aroma of the dog's breath hung in the air, all halitosis-ey and gross. Slowly, Tom sat up and removed the bandanna from his face. Light assaulted his eyes, leaving him stunned and just as sightless as he'd been with the blindfold on. Y
The car faced a serene pond, roughly the size of a city block. Trees of nearly countless varieties surrounded the car, and the lake, most of them the needley, sappy kinds, with thin white aspens insterspersed among them. Sammie was nowhere to be found. A chill ran up Tom's spine. He reached for the door handle.
"This is how it starts, Zod. A guy and his dog in the woods, just trying to enjoy the day." Tom opened the door and nearly shit himself. O
Fat flies buzzed around a torn-apart animal that looked to have once, until very recently, been cuddly. Now, its only cuddling partners would be beetles, and whatever else would feast on its entrails. Chunks of bloody, vaguely white fur littered the ground all around.
Lord Zod panted harder and pressed his body against the seat. "No, I'm not letting you out. Bunny is a special occasion food, and this isn't a special occasion." Tom shut the door against the macabre sight. He climbed over to the driver's side and climbed out, followed by the Black Laborador, who darted around him to get a piece of bunny. U
Another chill sneaked up his spine as he looked around, trying to find Sammie and hoping he wouldn't be murdered. A twig snapped behind him. Tom whipped his body around. He fell into a defensive stance, his training proving once again useful. His eyes scanned the trees and the ground, finding no threats, nothing that could cause either he or Lord Zod any harm.
No sounds, no movement, nothing. What had snapped the -
"Hah!" Sammie threw her arms around his waist, pinning his arms to his sides.
For the second time that day, Tom nearly soiled himself."Aah! Dammit, woman, I could have killed you!"
She nestled into his side. "Ooh, I love it when you call me 'woman,' do it again." Her smile cooled his blood faster than anything in the world could have, except for a horse tranquilizer, but he wasn't thinking of that in that moment. Everyone always forgets the obvious choices. _
"Woman," Tom pulled her around to stand in front of him, "You drive me crazy, and I love you. It would have been a shame to have had to kill you just now." Sammie pulled away from his embrace, refused his kiss with a demure grin.
"It's cute that you think you could take me, prettyboy. Come on, I have a picnic set up over here." F
Lord Zod followed just as enthusiastically as any dog had ever done anything. He sniffed and snuffled, and peed on damn near everything he came across. Neither tree nor bush, nor sprout was immune to his stream, but I like to think that there are very few plants that dislike being urinated on.
Eventually, the trio arrived at the shore of the little lake, and a checkered blanket with food set out on it. Sammie bent over, fully aware and pleased that Tom was checking her out - he hadn't done so a few months ago, and it had made her understandably insecure - she picked up a sifficiently flat rock. "I haven't skipped rocks in ages, have you?" With that, she flung it out over the water. The rock skipped once and sank. O
Lord Zod flung himself out into the water and did his best to retrieve it.
"I make it a habit not to." Tom sat on the checkered blanket, content merely to watch her skip rocks. R
"Well then you have to. Come on, it's fun!" She threw another, giggling. "Ooh! Did you see that? It skipped like four times! :D :D"
"That was great, babe. I bet you could do five." _
"Nope! It's your turn, get up here." Sammie stepped away from the shore toward him, arms held toward him like a toddler requesting to be picked up. She pulled gently at his elbow to get him to stand. "Come on, you don't get to be a party pooper, not today. You said we could do anything I wanted today."
Tom did everything he could to remain seated. "Baby, I'm sorry. I don't skip rocks." R
" >.< "
"Come on, don't be like that. I just don't skip rocks, it's not a big deal." E
"It's a huge deal, Tom." Tears threatened her eyes. "Why do you always do this? I try to come up with things for us to do together, and you always shoot it down. I feel like I'm the only one putting any effort into our relationship any more."
She couldn't have hit him harder, not even with one of those rocks. Tom put the sandwich he'd put together aside. That masterpiece of sandwich construction that he was making just the way he knew Sammie would want, would go to the dog while he tried to fix the hole that was quickly tearing in his relationship. A
He stood. "Sammie, I won't skip rocks. I just... I can't do it."
"You're just as cold and heartless as your father." Alright, she could have hit him harder. Sammie stalked away up the beach toward Lord Zod, who rolled happily in the moist beach sand in the shade. D
"You know what? Fine! I'll skip a goddamned rock. Is that what's going to make you happy?" There was no reason to shout. Sure, it had been a low blow, and sure, Tom's relationship with his father had been more strained than most metaphors about people's strained relationships with their fathers, but she was wrong. This had nothing to do with his father. "You wanna see why I don't throw rocks?"
Sammie turned to face him. "I don't even care, Thomas," Tom flinched at the use of his full name, "You can go right to hell, for all I care. We're through." I
"Fine!" Tom bent, picked up a rock, scanned all of the nearby trees he could find, and flung the rock as hard as he could.
His form was flawless. The stone sailed through the air, spinning at a perfect angle for maximum skippage. While the rock flew, it seemed that all of creation had stopped to watch that one perfect throw, to admire it. Crickets began to sing in recognition of the flawless throw, Lord Zod howled a praise chorus. A solitary shaft of light slipped through the clouds above, illuminating the projectile, seemingly blessing it with God's own Light. N
A single bird swooped down to capture a lone mosquito hovering just above the surface of the lake, but before it could catch its lunch, the stone impacted its head and skipped high. The small, red-breasted bird was killed instantly. It fell, skipping three times across the surface of the lake before settling in to bob along the surface.
The rock sailed high. The sun glinted off of it for one brilliant, majestic moment. Near the zenith of the rock's path, the rock impacted the breast of another bird - this one a drab grey color. Both the rock and the second bird fell, smacking the surface of the lake at nearly the same time. G
Tom seethed, watching the corpses of the birds float on the surface of the lake. They died just so he could prove he wasn't just being a dick. He reflected that that was a dick move on his part. A pair of arms slipped around his waist, but he barely felt them. A head nestled on his chest, brown hair ticked his nose.
"I'm sorry, Tom, I didn't know. Are you okay?" Sammie kissed his neck tenderly.
He couldn't speak. He couldn't move.
Sammie pulled away and kissed his lips. He responded to that. " :) " It was all she could say, but that was enough. Tom's arms folded around her. "Why didn't you just tell me that was your Power? Killing two birds with one stone."
"You should see me try to toss my keys onto the table at home."
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