Other stuff, such as I have started a novella I'm tentatively calling Chef. I think I'll post it all on here chapter by chapter. If you want that to happen, please leave me comments giving a yay or nay (nay being if you want to read it all at once when it's complete). It is about a chef who feeds his customers human flesh. How does he get the human flesh? Why would he do such an atrocious thing? I guess you'll have to come back and visit the blog to find out, huh? In order to keep myself motivated and working on this project I am aiming to post each successive chapter every Sunday, so make sure to stop by.
All other normal blogs, rants, and random thoughts I feel like talking about will continue around each chapter, so don't think I'm abandoning all other work in favor of the story.
Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for: The real reason I'm writing today:
I have become convinced that no matter how old we get we all have moments in our lives in which we think see things clearly, but in a way that is ridiculously simplistic and almost of a high-school level of actual understanding of the world and what is going on. I would love to come up with more examples of this than the one I am going to share, but it's late and I don't want to.
Cat and I were sitting together. . . okay, she was sitting on me, and in between punctuated makeout sessions we had conversations ranging from brief to lengthy. It was the kind of night I hope never go away after we're married. At some point, Cat mentioned listening to a Basshunter marathon - something like that, anyway - to which I could only reply "And by Basshunter, you mean the Nordic, or German techno artist who wrote a song about a sub-game in Warcraft 3, right?" Her eyes bugged. She told me something along the lines that nobody had ever heard of Basshunter that she'd met. We exchanged stories of how and when we heard of them, and discussed how every six months we go through a phase of loving/getting sick of their music.
I held this up as one of the very many reasons why we are supposed to be together (a topic I'll eventually write about at length). I held her close to me while we laughed at what we saw as a giant coincidence.
As I held her, my belief that we were destined to be together grew stronger. Yes, because we'd both heard of, and every now and again listen to a German techno group. I think about it rationally, and know it's fucking ridiculous, but then I get over myself and let myself be a little bit romantic and flighty, and . . . young and naive . . . I stand by what I said to her last night: that we both love Basshunter four weeks out of the year is another reason we are supposed to be together.
I think that my hesitation is part of what is wrong with love as we see it. I hesitate, saying that it's stupid to hold our mutual love for a techno group up as a reason for my love to grow a little bit for her, but why is it that way? Why can't I revel in the commonality, and marvel at the paths that we have walked separately that have in some small way brought us together?
I love Cat for her sometime love of Basshunter. I love her for many other reasons, big and small, whether they matter to anyone or have any effect on anything ever. I love her for the shape of her body, the way she fits into my arms, the way she mockingly laughs at bad puns. I love her for her ambition, and the way her face frames her nose, and for the enormity of the responsibility she has accepted onto her shoulders, and the way she kisses, and how she makes me want to be a better person. . . and for a thousand other reasons, I love her. It shouldn't matter the significance of the reason we love someone, but it seems to.
We have such a strict view of what is acceptable as a reason or means of love it makes us a bit uptight on the subject. We seem to be afraid to love, afraid of what it might mean, what it might imply about our partners, our lovers. . . I won't go into detail on the matter right now. Maybe someday.
P.S. I know there is virtually no way anyone even remotely involved with Basshunter will ever read this post, but I want to thank you, you have brought my fiancee and I closer together by simply existing. Thank you.